Productive and Happy

WHO AM I?

This might at first feel like a huge question. A bottomless pit. You might look at that question and say “I have a hard time envisioning my day, let alone my entire life and my identity.” This might not appear to be the easiest path to true happiness.

But hear me out: it’s no where near as difficult as we first make it out to be.

You see, our conscious mind wants to make self-exploration hard. The “brain of our consciousness’ is designed to protect. It’s the part of our awareness that thinks things through (good) but also worries about a whole bunch of stuff (a waste of energy).

So this ego blows the task of self-exploration out of proportion. It clouds thought up with a fog and whispers “Watch out… asking ‘who am I?’ can get you into unfamiliar territory and really mess you up.”

It tricks us into thinking our own inner residence – our mind – is the most frightening haunted house we could ever venture into.

Well-intentioned as it is, this fearful, overprotective parent is just plain wrong.

Why do we need to ask ‘Who am I?” and why did I put this question first in the list of questions that focused people ask? For this reason:

Knowing thyself, you are able to live your life to the fullest.  You are equipped to leave behind fear, doubt, and worry and live with passion, joy, and fulfillment.

What’s more, you’re much more empowered and equipped to focus. You’re more prepared to feel true happiness and joy, because happiness is made up of three things – progress, contribution and sharing with others.

And you can’t reach your full potential in those three areas without getting to know who you are and what you’re really all about.

Knowing thyself involves asking questions.

When we break the big question (‘Who am I?’) down into a handful of smaller questions, it becomes easy, safe, manageable… even fun.

And that’s exactly what we’re going to be doing here.

For example, in your quest to know yourself, you’ll ask about:

• what you stand for,
• what excites you,
• what you love,
• what turns your stomach.

You might remember these from the previous post. These are a few of the questions we’ll be exploring throughout the holidays.

So let’s begin…

Let’s start asking questions to answer the overarching umbrella question of Who We Are.

QUESTION 1: What is important to me?

This is a question of values.

The answer to this question is to be found in what we consider important, as measured by our current results as well as what we dream to become, acquire or achieve.

So…

What do you value more than anything else? Of these values, which are most important? Which 6 or 7 values are on the very top of the list?

This is not a question to be taken lighten or answered after only a few seconds of thought. The values discovery process can take a couple hours or more. It’s like pumping iron or completing a challenging yoga session or working hard to build your business. It takes effort at first but the payoff, when don’t right, is enormous.

(BTW, I can help you with this. If you’d like to get clear on your values once and for all, let me know.)

You see, we all value different things in life. Our values are like fingerprints in that there are no two exactly the same. We might find another who has a similar value schema and when we do, we often like that person very much. We call them a “like-minded soul” and we cherish our time together. But even like-minded people have slightly different values or hold them in a slightly different order. We’re unique.

Since we have different values or value hierarchies, our goals and desires will differ too.

More importantly, my goals for you may be radically different than your deepest and most heart-felt goals for yourself.

And most important of all…

You must be clear about your values before you go wildly climbing that ladder to what you THINK are your goals.

That is, what your brain thinks are your goals. Remember that brainy part of your awareness? What’s it job again?

To protect you. Is it going to lead your ship out of harbor and across the Pacific to the beautiful shores of Hawaii or Fiji or Bali? Is the ego going to embrace your magnificent potential.

No.

Or if you ARE able to succeed at getting your goals, you may end up in a place that doesn’t give you true happiness. You may become an unhappy high-achiever, someone who has success without fulfillment (which is, in fact, failure).

So in order to focus… in order to get real… in order to break the hypnotic spells and answer a future question (“What do I want?”), we must first ask “What’s most important to me?”

If you’re already done a values elicitation, feel free to share below. I’d love to see what you’ve discovered so I can help you reach the goals that reflect your top values.

(BTW, the most important thing to me in my life work to help people feel ABLE… to feel like they have “arrived” in life… to “go for it”…  to realize and manifest their God-given gorgeousness… to feel true happiness and purpose and gratitude and richness right now, in this moment.

So if you’d like to help me, please

1. like,
2. share this post with your friends, and/or
3. comment below.

I promise the “brain” within you that you’ll be safe. You are loved and protected and sharing will only bless you as you bless others. Thank you, dear friend

As the clock on my computer counts down the final minutes of 12-12-12, I feel it’s time.

Time to focus.

Time to put my education into practice and share the great stuff I’ve learned.

Time to get in the arena, put it all on the line, and get stuff done!

Can you relate?

Do you sometimes find it challenging to stay focused on your ONE specialty without heeding distractions? Do you find it hard to put horse-blinders on, even when you’re working on important projects? Do you sometimes want to just SCREAM out loud, overwhelmed with the “TMI” (Too Much Information) syndrome in the world.

I’ve been there.

In the past, I’ve struggled to get all the garbage stuff off my plate. I’ve stressed out at times when I felt I had TOO MANY choices… when I had so many projects on my plate that I felt I couldn’t see straight.

So…

To celebrate the 12 days of Christmas (and today’s unusual date), I’m going to introduce you to the 12 key questions that truly focused people ask themselves.

These are the questions that make the difference.

Questions like:

• What’s my passion? What energizes me?
• What do I love to do?
• In which category of life do I need the most progress?
• What drains me? What distracts me?
• What’s my vision?
• What really would make me happy?
• What is important?
• What does success look like to me?

As the days lead us into the new year, I will discuss one key question at a time.

That way we won’t get overwhelmed. And one step at a time, we can walk away from feeling fuzzy and disoriented. We can, once and for all, say “Sayonara” to the stress of not knowing what to focus on.

And best of all, we can get away from feeling STUCK in the mud, simply because we can’t concentrate long enough to put three thoughts together.

First off, I have a couple questions for you:

Tell me…

1) How would you grade yourself in this area? Are you challenged with navigating through the info overload?

2) What is most frustrating to you about trying to be focused? What makes it most difficult for you?

One last question before I go: would you please like, share, tweet, etc? I appreciate your help getting the word out.

Are you feeling stressed out? The first thing you can do – for an immediate change – is to move your body. Bounce on your heels, talk a walk, or best of all crank up the tunes and dance!

But moving your body is just one way, and you may need to do something else to keep the positive change, long-term.

A fantastic way to keep that positive state is through the use of language. Words can be a super-powerful tool for getting stress-free, feeling happy, and becoming more focused. The following are some stress quotes that I sometimes turn to when I need to keep my peace of mind:

No Fear = No Bad Stress

Named your fear must be before vanquish it you can. - Yoda

One of the marks of a gift is to have the courage to fulfill it. - Katherine Anne Porter

Do not fear mistakes. There are none. - Miles Davis

…missed 9000 shots, lost 300 games, missed 26 potentially game-winning shots. “I have failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan

Our fears must never hold us back from pursuing our hopes. - John F. Kennedy

Courage: the power to let go of the familiar. - Raymond Lindquist

A ship in harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. - William Shedd

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands during challenge and controversy. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Advertisement in London Newspaper, 1906: Men wanted for hazardous journey, Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success. - Sir Ernest H. Shackleton

Life is Good

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. – Gen. 1:31

Talk back to your internal critic. - Robert McKain

Believe that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Believe that you may be that light for someone else. – Kobi Yamada

We made the world we’re living in and we can make it over. - James Baldwin

March to Your Own Drum

They’ll tell you, ‘Quit now, you’ll never make it.’ If you disregard that advice, you’ll be halfway there. - David Zucker

If people don’t agree with you, so what? If people agree with you, so what? - Robert Anthony

The real moment of success is not the moment apparent to the crowd. - George Bernard Shaw

Be Love

If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a kind word of encouragement, or attempts to understand, extraordinary things begin to happen. - Loretta Girzartis

Assume that people are good until you actually and specifically learn differently. And even then, know that they have potential for change and that you can help them out. - Leo Buscaglia

To be a man is, precisely, to be responsible… It is to feel, when setting one’s stone, that one is contributing to the building of the world. - Antoine de Saint Exupery

Hang in There

Hang in there. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas Edison

You must do the thing you think you cannot do. - Eleanor Roosevelt

If you’re going through hell, keep going. - Rob Estes

Every mountain has a top. Every problem has a life span. - Robert Schuller

Never give up. This may be your moment for a miracle. - Greg Anderson

Stress Quotes on Eliminating Distraction and Stress

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. - Antoine de Saint Exupery

Life is too short and too wonderful to waste time doing things you really don’t want to be doing. - Bruce Isaacs

One does not accumulate but eliminate. - Bruce Lee

*****

One last thing that has helped me: whenever I feel stress, I think about how stress is caused in physics by two forces pushing against each other. I seek to remove one of the forces. Eliminate the less important pressure; choose the best and go with that flow.

Tell me…

What are your favorite quotes about stress, happiness, courage, and overcoming fear?